Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Unusable/NPC Weapons

Unusable/NPC Weapons

Several weapons in-game are featured solely as static images (for demonstration or decorative purposes); several other, more cartoonish-looking weapons are used by enemies such as Soldier Weinerbots (SWBs for short) and Sosigs.

AKM

As mentioned, the 10th alpha of Update #52 added the AKM to the arsenals of SWBs.

AKM - 7.62x39mm

Reaching for a Sosig's AKM...

...snatching it...

...and unloading it into its former owner, sending out a shower of mustard and meat chunks in the process.

Examining the stubby AKM. Note that it uses early-pattern "slab-side" magazines, presumably in order to maintain a low poly-count.

A group of Sosigs investigating the source of a gunshot (said source being the person taking the picture), the one in the middle giving a good view of the right side of its AKM; note the charging handle and the corresponding slot in the receiver.

"Aiming" the low-poly rifle; the fact that both the front and rear sights are large, solid blocks doesn't exactly help in this regard.

The updated model of the Sosigs' AKM. Not a whole lot has changed here, but the weapon notably does have Bakelite-styled magazines instead of the prior slab-sides, along with an AK-74-esque stock divot.

Beretta 92FS

While not directly usable in-game, a Beretta 92FS (different from the M9A1 in-game) is seen on the item spawner's instruction panel as an example handgun, showing off some standard controls and functions.

Beretta 92FS - 9x19mm

The Beretta on the instruction panel.

Colt Model 607

The final weapon made available to the SWBs in Update #46 was most likely intended as a cartoonish M16A1, with the resultant weapon resembling a Colt Model 607.

M16A1 with 20-round magazine - 5.56x45mm NATO

Colt Model 607 with 20-round magazine - 5.56x45mm NATO

A now-headless bot dropping to the floor, somehow still keeping a grip on its Model 607; this is made doubly strange by the fact that they don't even have hands to grip their guns with in the first place (a fact which, according to one of their voice lines, they are actually aware of).

Another bot "meating" a similar end. Fun fact: you can't tell for sure if this gun is facing towards or away from the camera. And now you can never unsee that.

To help take your mind off of your newfound hatred of me, here's a picture of a camouflaged Sosig with a 607 slung over its... well, you can't call it a shoulder, because they don't have arms, so... y'know what, let's just say that the Sosig's carrying it. That seems like a solid plan.

Grabbing the Sosig's 607...

...before wasting all of its ammo on the floor.

Examining the now-empty rifle.

A far more heavily-armored Sosig helpfully showing off the other side of its rifle. While it's presumably just a result of the rifle's deliberately low-poly modeling (especially since it's indexed in the spawning menu as "M16"), the shortened stock, exposed-barrel-to-handguard ratio, and slickside upper receiver (complete with modeled ejection port) help further peg it as a Model 607.

Blasting away an enemy, with the rebuilt tracer effects creating a spectacular lightshow; note that the 607 lacks a rear sight.

The updated model of the 607 brings with it the rather curious choice of a handguard with grasping serrations rather like those of an M16A2; it also has space in the lower receiver for a magazine release, but not the actual magazine release itself.

A dropped 607 fitted with a suppressor, as used by some of the Pacification Squad enemies.

The laser on this particular firearm seems to spontaneously emanate from either the front sight the gas block.

Glock 19

A compact-sized Glock akin to the Glock 19 (albeit with a Glock 26-length barrel and slide) was made available to SWBs (Soldier Weiner-Bots) in Update #46, although according to its Sosigun spawn-menu name, it is apparently meant as a cartoonish Glock 17.

Glock 19 - 9x19mm Parabellum

A Weinerbot ambles into an objective room...

...and is promptly greeted with an axe to the face. If you can really call the featureless front of a Weinerbot's head a "face".

With the release of Update #59's second alpha build, the bots' Glock was made into a new type of object - a so-called "Sosigun" (so named because the new enemy that wields them is known as the "Sosig").

Their simplistic (yet somewhat surprisingly detailed) model reflects the simplistic nature of their use - the only thing that the player can do with one of these is to fire it until it runs dry, with actions like slide-racking and reloading being entirely impossible. This is largely in the interest of performance; were enemies to wield fully-detailed weapons with full sets of interactions, the user's computer would very quickly begin to smell of smoke.

Still, in spite of this, there is at least one detail worth noting:

Despite, again, being extremely simplistic models with only one possible point of interaction, these weapons still have reciprocating slides.

Furthermore, the enemies' weapons' newfound physicality gives the player the ability to rip a Sosig's weapon right out of its nonexistent hands...

...and either throw it clear across the room...

...or simply shoot the Sosig in the "face" with it.

A paranoid Sosig firing its Glock at another's corpse. This was caused by a bug in Update #59's early alpha builds; spawning the Sosigs, enabling wander/fight behavior, and setting them to different IFFs with dead Sosigs already present would cause the live Sosigs to identify the dead ones as threats.

Drawing a bead on an enemy Sosig with the Glock's surprisingly workable sights.

Following the eighth alpha build of Update #59, the Sosiguns were updated with new models and textures, generally making them look less like untextured raw models from early-mid 2000s third-person shooter games, and more like toys made of rubberized plastic, so as to better fit the aesthetic of the Sosigs themselves. This particular Glock is fitted with an equally-cartoonish suppressor, which does far more to muffle the gun's report than its size and muzzle flash would lead one to believe.

Heckler & Koch MP5SD1

The only strictly-dedicated suppressed weapon usable by enemies, the Heckler & Koch MP5SD1 was initially not a player-usable weapon (bar its limited functionality as a "Sosigun"), though it was later included as one of the 28 different MP5 variants added in Update #63.

Heckler & Koch MP5SD1 - 9x19mm Parabellum

A Sosig carrying an MP5SD1. Unlike many of their other weapons, the MP5 seemingly lacks a trigger guard.

An MP5SD1 on the ground...

...and another one hovering ominously next to a Sosig.

The enemy firing its MP5SD1; in spite of the suppressor, it still produces a full-sized muzzle flash.

Returning fire at another Sosig with the now-captured MP5SD1. Note the ejection port; this contains a bolt that visibly reciprocates when the weapon is fired. Also note the object at the weapon's front end, which appears to be either a somewhat stretched-out front sight hood without an actual sight, or possibly (though less likelily) a Truglo-esque red-dot sight.

The updated MP5SD1, complete with ribbed handguard, non-solid front sight protector, and trigger guard.

The Pacification Squad Sosigs, added in Update #62 (AKA Module 2 of the Return of the Rotweiners gamemode) use suppressed weapons (both MP5SD1s and suppressed versions of other weapons) fitted with visible laser sights, as seen in this rather awkward bit of CQC. The lasers would seem to run contrary to the purpose of the suppressors (although it could be argued that the Zosigs would be more attracted to gunshots than to red laser beams); this is simply in the name of balance, as being caught off-guard by a Pacification Squad patrol would likely mean near-instant death.

The lasers seem to be activated by pressure switches (seeing as they're only active when being held), but yet neither pressure switches nor the actual lasers are visible on any of the weapons themselves; this MP5SD's laser apparently sees fit to instead just appear from the bottom of the handguard.

IMI Uzi

The full-size variant of the Uzi was added to H3 in the tenth alpha of Update #52, as an optional weapon for SWBs. According to its Sosigun spawn menu name, it's chambered in .45 ACP, an available (though less common) option.

IMI Uzi - 9x19mm Parabellum

An Uzi-wielding bot belatedly realizes that he picked the wrong house.

Getting a fair bit closer to an Uzi-wielding bot than is strictly advisable reveals the rather surprising level of detail it features: it has a charging handle, an ejection port, and even a modeled rear sight aperture, despite the fact that, as mentioned, nobody is meant to be getting this close to a bot for long enough to actually notice this. Meanwhile, one of the bot's incredibly bright tracers provides this shot with a bit more flair.

Wounded and dazed, a Sosig drops its Uzi on the floor.

Stealing the Uzi, and putting the poor thing out of its misery. The abnormally bright flash of light seen here is caused by the impact of an API (armor-piercing incendiary) round; this effect is part of the rebuild of tracers (and ballistics in general) that occurred in Update #59.

Another part of this rebuild is the migration of enemy weapons over to the new tracer system, as demonstrated by this unwilling test subject. Note that, as with their MAC-11s, enemies' Uzis strangely fire from a closed bolt with a reciprocating charging handle; it's even stranger here than it is on the MAC, however, as the Uzi's charging handle doesn't reciprocate (a fact which, as the Micro Uzi above demonstrates, the developers were aware of).

The updated Uzi; gone are the flat, matte-gray surfaces, along with the sights. And, while it's not visible here, the reciprocation of the charging handle.

MAC-11

Another Update #46 addition to the arsenals of SWBs is the MAC-11.

RPB Industries M11A1 - .380 ACP

A hapless MAC-wielding Weinerbot ambles into an objective in Take & Hold mode, clearly unaware of what awaits.

Another bot prepares to meet an equally unfortunate end. It isn't entirely clear what the bot was hoping to accomplish with an uncocked, triggerless weapon.

A Sosig with a menagerie of weapons, a MAC-11 among them.

Grabbing the Sosig's MAC...

...and firing it at nothing in particular. Unlike its normal counterpart, the MAC-11 used by bots is shown as closed-bolt, for whatever reason.

A pair of bot-used MAC-11s.

Shredding a Sosig with the submachine guns' absurd rate of fire.

Of all the Sosiguns, the MAC-11 was easily the least changed (receiving little more than an update to its textures), probably in large part because it already looked like a flat-sided box to begin with.

Remington 870

Yet another SWB-usable weapon added in Update #46 is a sawn-off Remington 870.

Sawn-off Remington 870 - 12 gauge

A Weinerbot in a rather awkward standoff with the player. Note that its 870's pump handle is pulled to the rear; Weinerbots' weapons actually have moving parts. It's almost like you're actually supposed to get close to them or something...

Examining the left side of the enemies' low-poly 870 (in "Sosigun" form)...

...and the right side of a different one.

Firing the cut-off 870.

What follows is a pumping sequence that would seem a lot more normal were it not for the fact that this weapon is only being held with one hand; presumably in order to keep its behaviors simple enough to maintain the Sosiguns' low performance costs, the pump simply cycles itself automatically upon firing.

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
"Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I wound up in this situation."

The updated, rubberized 870 Sosigun. Not much has changed, apart from the addition of a couple of pins and some very widely-spaced pump handle serrations.

Remington Model 700 VTR

While not physically present in-game, a Remington Model 700 VTR with a bipod appears on the item spawner's instruction panel as an example of a bolt-action rifle.

Remington Model 700 VTR - .308 Winchester

The M700 VTR on the instruction panel. Note the affixed bipod; it appears that the image above was used as a reference.

Steyr Scout

Update #52's 10th alpha gave SWBs the ability to use Steyr Scout rifles. They boast high damage, accuracy, and range, offset by their low fire rates and capacities.

Steyr Scout - 7.62x51mm NATO

A bot with a rather comically proportioned Scout wanders into a Hold Point, and begins to wonder if this is really the best weapon for close-quarters combat against a lunatic with a sawn-off Sten and a SPAS-12 loaded with high-explosive shells.

A enemy's Scout on the ground.

Picking it up, just in time to meet an enemy Sosig whose enthusiasm greatly outstrips its preparedness. Lifespan measured in seconds.

Aiming at another helpless enemy; note that, unlike the Scouts used by the Weinerbots, the Sosigs' Scouts lack scopes, likely to avoid having to program such a complex function into a weapon meant to be simple and cheap (from a performance standpoint, that is).

Putting the downed Sosig out of its misery reveals something else of note: much like their sawn-off Remington 870s, the Sosigs' Scouts have self-cycling bolts; again, this is meant to keep the weapons as simple as possible.

Charging a Scout-wielding Sosig, its complete and utter failure to aim showing off how their rifles are also self-cycling. Which makes sense, when you think about it - they are, after all, the same guns, regardless of who's using them.

The Sosig's failure to aim also has other effects, namely on the distance between its head and the rest of its body.

The updated Scout model; following the Law of Conservation of Trigger Guards, adding a trigger guard to the MP5SD1 required removing one from the Scout. Presumably.

Unknown AR-15 Carbine

The wooden hot dog soldier targets (yes, you read that right) seen in certain scenes are drawn with somewhat generic, hard-to-identify AR-15-pattern carbines. The item spawner's tutorial/example image for closed-bolt, magazine-fed firearms also features a simplistic-looking AR to illustrate the various controls involved in any such weapon's operation.

Colt Model 723 - 5.56x45mm NATO. Similar to the rifles in-game.

"Well, this is awkward..."

Fortunately, the Operator's special training allows him to neutralize all 3 targets in mere seconds, narrowly escaping the threat of unwanted social interaction.

The item spawner's carbine, seen here as a rather strange demonstration of how to use an MP5K.

Unknown Lever-Action Rifle

Weinerbots in the Wurstworld scene will occasionally use lever-action rifles; they're a bit too generic for a positive ID to be made, though they most closely match the 1955-vintage Winchester Model 88.

Winchester Model 88 - .243 Winchester

Suddenly faced with a close-quarter standoff, a bandit-bot quickly reloads its rifle.

It then takes aim...

...and dies of natural causes. Note the Model 88-esque single-piece stock.

Another bot, with another Winchester. While it's a bit hard to tell, at full size it can be seen that the bots do, in fact, work their rifles' actions. The white hexagon towards the bottom of the shot is one of the bots' bullets, which travel at a rather leisurely pace in comparison to player-fired projectiles.

Unknown Revolver

Various bandit-bots in the Wurstworld scene wield large, stylized, low-detail revolvers, vaguely resembling the Colt Single Action Army; unlike the SAA, however, their revolvers are double-action, and feature swing-out cylinders.

Colt Single Action Army (Cimarron reproduction) - .45 Long Colt

Confronted with a charging player, a bandit-bot quickly reloads its pair of revolvers. Note that, as with many instances of akimbo revolvers in games, the cylinders swing out in opposite directions.

The bandit tries to defend itself with some comically slow-moving bullets...

...which, in the end...

...doesn't end well for old Mr. Moneyhead.

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