Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Launchers

Launchers

FIM-92 Stinger

The twentieth gift added in the 2018 Meatmas event was a FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft rocket launcher. It's the game's first (and, so far, only) guided-projectile weapon; it also holds the honor of being quite possibly the most faithful recreation of the Stinger's elaborate firing procedure seen in any piece of media to date.

FIM-92 Stinger - 70mm

The Stinger's gift box, which comes with a set of instructions. The 3D modeler's name is cut off by the size of their own creation; for reference, the artist's name is "3mern".

Meanwhile, in the Sampler Platter scene (to which the Stinger and its instruction manual were also added), we get a close look at the Stinger's gripstock (with an incorrect straight rather than forward-sloping grip)...

...and the IFF antenna. Which doesn't serve much purpose in-game, since there aren't currently any friendly aircraft in-game (nor is there an IFF interrogator box for the antenna to interact with).

This small object is what's known as a battery coolant unit, or BCU for short. This holds 2 things: a battery, which powers the weapon's electronics, and a supply of gaseous argon, which cools them (since IR-seeking systems need to be extremely cold to work).

It fits into a hole in the bottom of the gripstock unit, and has to be inserted for the weapon to fire. Don't just put it in whenever, though; the BCU only provides a 45-second supply of power to the guidance system, so if you don't fire it within 45 seconds, you'll have to replace it.

The next step is to turn on the guidance system (via a firing-hand touchpad button press), producing a continuous, grainy-sounding beep; aiming at a valid target for a few seconds, such as one of these F-18-sized flying steaks (yes, you read that right) in the Sampler Platter's skies, will make this beep louder and clearer, indicating that a lock has been acquired. This is a very slight deviation from the real weapon's operation; the in-game launcher can start a lock aiming at the target right away, whereas the real launcher must first establish contrast by aiming at a patch of open sky first, though this likely wasn't implemented due to the unfeasibility of properly coding such a feature.

Then, just hold down the uncaging switch on the gripstock's forend, aim a bit above the target, and fire.

A second or so later, the rocket's main motor engages, and it seeks and destroys the distant meat-jet.

Following this, the launcher can simply be discarded. This is partly in line with its real-world counterpart; the Stinger's LTA (launch tube assembly; essentially just the missile itself and the tube surrounding it) is a single-use, disposable unit, while the gripstock is re-usable, though "reloading" a gripstock with a fresh LTA is seldom done in the field, and used launchers are usually just held onto to be dealt with later. This is a bit of a moot point in-game, since the entire launcher can just be spawnlocked and duplicated indefinitely.

Somewhat strangely, the list of valid targets includes the Meatmas Snowglobe's crystal snowflakes; this is presumably so that the player has something to use their new-found toy on (as difficult as it is to hit something so small so close to the minimum distance at which a Stinger's rocket will actually start seeking out its target). Here, a fired rocket can be seen falling towards the ground, a few frames before the main rocket motor kicks in and sends it skyward.

Fittingly enough, the "Meatal Gear Ronch" boss is quite vulnerable to Stingers (despite being encountered at rather short ranges compared to the Stinger's typical minimum, and the rather obvious issues involved with using an anti-aircraft rocket launcher against something that's not in the air).

Though, of course, the mech can attack with its own Stingers as well; this exchange of missiles is another mechanic more faithful to the source material than it is to reality, and makes even less sense than the other way around, since the missiles lock onto targets below the launcher; they're essentially used like high-tech mortars.

Heckler & Koch HK69A1

Adding to the game's slowly-growing collection of grenade launchers, the Heckler & Koch HK69A1 was (rather fittingly) added in Update #69.

Heckler & Koch HK69A1 - 40x46mm

Admiring the beauty of Cold War-era simplicity.

Sure, there may not be much to it, but that's part of the beauty of it. It's sleek, it's elegant, it's...

...nice.

Cracking open the HK69A1.

Loading in a 40x46mm HE grenade.

Cocking the hammer. This particular weapon's base code is more or less directly lifted from the earlier-added Orion Flare Gun.

Completely ignoring the rather obvious flip-up leaf sight on top of the barrel...

...and firing...

...with predictable results.

Dumping out a spent casing, and running before the range master gets here.

Heckler & Koch M320

Update #52's tenth alpha added a Heckler & Koch M320 to the arsenal, in keeping with that alpha's generally explosive-centric nature.

Heckler & Koch M320 - 40x46mm

Examining the M320.

Popping open the launcher's side-tilting barrel...

...and loading in a high-explosive round.

Folding down the leaf sight, to help with... something.

After all, what better way to take advantage of a game that allows for proper use of a leaf sight than to ignore it completely and act like the weapon has a normal set of sights attached to its barrel?

Confident in the sound logic of his decisions, the invisible man drops a spent casing out of his M320.

Homemade Flamethrower

Added in Update #60, the "Junkyard Flamethrower" is, as the name implies, a homemade flamethrower composed of various pieces of tubing, wiring, and other miscellaneous bits.

The "Junkyard Flamethrower" on a table in the Proving Ground scene, along with a tank of fuel and a Molotov cocktail.

The left side of the improvised flamethrower, showing off the tape-covered "GAS" tank, presumably serving as the flamethrower's pressure reserve; for gameplay's sake, this never needs replacing.

The other side of the flamethrower.

Loading the flamer...

...before pausing to take a look at what was just loaded. The tank is labeled "Dr. Boner's Industrial Strength Nail polish remover", and features a warning to "USE ONLY IN A WELL-VENTILATED AREA"; from this, it can be inferred that the tanks (seemingly propane tanks, of the sort used in portable camp stoves and the like) are filled with concentrated acetone. While this may be second only to The Fury's Flammenwerfer 41 loaded with unsymmetrical dimethylhydrazine and nitrogen tetroxide (i.e. rocket fuel) from Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater in terms of odd flamethrower fuels, it does make some sense: as any bottle of non-industrial nail polish remover will tell you, acetone is highly flammable, and would make a more effective fuel than the gases commonly used in homemade flamethrowers, though its volatility and tendency to evaporate easily would limit its effective range and make it somewhat dangerous - not that an ordinary flamethrower is exactly OSHA-approved, mind you.

The muzzle of the flamethrower, constructed of a cut-open soda can; judging by the blackening of the end, this flamer's seen some use. Which is simultaneously encouraging and worrying.

"Aiming" the flamethrower..

...and "firing" it.

Overjoyed that the weapon didn't explode upon firing, our fire-fighting friend takes a look at the adjustment lever at the flamethrower's rear.

The lever adjusts the flamethrower's gas pressure; pulling it back reduces the pressure...

...creating a wide spray of flames, like so...

...while pushing it forward increases the pressure...

...creating a more realistic, less video-gamey narrow stream of fire.

This narrow stream allows more precise, long-ranged use, perfect for roasting more distant Sosigs. As for the wide mode, its use in close quarters is unparalleledly lethal; when combined with the tendency of in-game flame particles to spread out and slide along solid surfaces, this leads to...

"It was a pleasure to burn. It was a special pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and changed."

M1A1 "Bazooka"

Update #50 added the M1A1 Bazooka to H3's collection of explosive toys. Unfortunately, the reloading procedure is incorrectly simplified, with the rocket simply being shoved into the rear of the tube, without bothering to attach the wire to the electrical contacts at the rear of the launcher (which served to transfer electricity to, and ignite, the rocket's booster charge and motor).

M1A1 Rocket Launcher "Bazooka" - 2.36 inch rocket

The M1A1 in first person. A rather difficult weapon to grab a good screenshot of, considering its sheer size.

Loading a M6A1 rocket into the rear of the weapon. As mentioned, this is the only thing required for reloading, with no simulation of the attachment of the contact wire.

Aiming the M1A1. Unlike many games, the weapon's multiple front sight posts are useful here, as the projectile does drop over distance, and the weapon can be manipulated freely, rather than having a single fixed aim-down-sights position.

Firing the Bazooka produces a suitably impressive cloud of smoke.

M79

The M79 grenade launcher was one of the first weapons added to H3, predating even the name; it, along with a few other weapons, was added to the early prototype stages of the game before it even received a proper name. In the 9th alpha of Update #52, the weapon got a new model and texture set, along with several new ammo types. These include 5 more-or-less normal rounds - an M381 high-explosive round, an M397 airburst round (which bounces off of whatever surface it hits and explodes in mid-air), an M576 buckshot round, an M781 inert practice round, and a CS gas grenade (which was added later, in the same update's 10th alpha) - and 4 more outlandish rounds (all of which have colorschemes and labels more reminiscent of novelty fireworks than of actual military ordnance). These are:

• The "X214 Steelbreaker", a high-velocity armor-piercing saboted round,
• The "X477 Cornerfrag", a low-yield fragmentation grenade that airbursts 4 meters from the launcher's muzzle, intended for blindfiring around corners in close quarters (hence the name),
• The "X666 Baphomet", essentially a 40mm version of the Dragon's Breath round,
• and the later-released "X1776 Freedom Party", a 40mm flashbang that releases red, white, and blue confetti upon detonation.

M79 grenade launcher - 40x46mm

Admiring the M79 under the light of the warehouse's roof windows. Note the trigger guard; for whatever reason, this version of the launcher had a trigger guard that flopped around freely.

Popping open the launcher. At full size, it can be seen that the for-some-reason-red rounds on the table have holes in the end of them; this shows that they're modeled after Airsoft 40mm rounds, which use these holes to send forth a shower of plastic BBs on impact.

"I've got an idea. Instead of just throwing grenades at them, how about we send them grenades in another manner?"

Readying the M79...

...and blasting away the nefarious Wall-1000.

The work done, it's time to remove the spent casing, and take a much-needed vacation.

The brand-new M79, along with its new ammunition. From left to right: the M781 trainer, the M576 buckshot, the M397 airburst, the M381 HE, the X214 Steelbreaker, the X477 Cornerfrag, and the X666 Baphomet.

A closer look at the shiny new M79, complete with its gorgeous new properly-secured trigger guard.

Showing off a feature of the M79 that is all but entirely unique to H3: not only does its sight leaf fold up...

...but its rear sight notch is actually adjustable for distance. This runs contrary to the model seen in most video games, where the protagonist generally just picks a random distance and goes with it. This feature was present on the older version of H3's M79 as well.

Opening up the breech.

"Pardon me, sir, but this is an indoor range, so I would really recommend against that."

"Sir, what are you doing-"

"SIR!"

One RSO heart attack later, a spent casing pops itself out of the M79.

Milkor MGL

Along with the M320, Update #52's 10th alpha brought along a Milkor MGL; specifically, an MGL-140.

Milkor MGL-140 - 40x46mm

Taking a look at the MGL's left side...

...and the right.

Opening up the launcher, showing six chambers' worth of potential. So, so much potential.

Loading up the MGL with some "X666 Baphomet" rounds. Although, given the color scheme, one wonders if perhaps a better name would've been the "Flavortown" round.

Closing the MGL with a flick of the wrist, in spite of all sound logic. This is possible because the MGL is actually built off of the same code as the game's revolvers; a more curious side effect of this is the ability to spin the weapon around like a drunk, Scottish ocelot.

Closing the launcher again, this time with a much more advisable push.

Celebrating this advancement in weapon knowledge by filling the air with burning magnesium.

Orion Flare Gun

The Orion Flare Gun is available in-game, having been added in Update #15. While it is capable of firing 12 gauge shells in-game, doing so with any sort of high-pressure shell (i.e. anything other than flares, "Cannonball" rounds, Dragon's Breath shells, or "Freedomfetti" shells) will destroy the flare gun, rendering it useless. However, Update #17 added a fictional steel-framed version capable of handling high-pressure loads.

Orion Flare Gun - 12 gauge

Behold, the Orion, in something not even remotely resembling its natural habitat.

A closer view, which shows that the frame is marked "Saiph"; this is a joke, as Saiph is one of the stars that makes up the Orion constellation.

Opening up the Orion.

Bad idea in three...

...two...

...one...

...zero.

Unsurprisingly, a plastic flare gun doesn't hold up well when subjected to over 10,000 PSI (over 68,000 kPa) of internal pressure. Also note the red streaks in the air; these are bullet trails, which can be toggled on and off at will through the options panel. Unusually, the options panel in H3 is actually a physical object.

The fictitious "HP" (high-pressure) version of the Orion...

...which fares considerably better when firing high-pressure shells.

RPzB 43/54 "Panzerschreck"

Rounding out Update #50's collection of largely-WWII-centric weaponry is the Panzerschreck. Much like the M1A1 Bazooka, reloading the weapon is a simpler process in-game than it is in reality; whereas in-game the rocket is simply stuffed into the tube and fired, in reality the rocket had to be properly lined up in the tube, and the user had to press down the pin on top of the contact box to allow electricity to be transferred to the rocket, thus allowing its ignition.

RPzB 43/54 "Panzerschreck" - 88mm rocket

The perfect gift for that special someone in your life. Assuming that that "special someone" is trying to stop the invasion of Berlin.

Loading in an 88mm rocket. The object to the top-left of the screen is another rocket, sitting in a quickbelt slot on the player's shoulder.

Aiming the Panzerschreck; once again, the issues with having software only capture one eye's view come to light.

Firing the Panzerschreck at a distant foe, creating a large plume of smoke in the process.

RPG-7

The 2016 Meatmas Update added 3 gifts on its 25th and final day, one of these being the game's first rocket launcher, the RPG-7.

RPG-7 - 40mm

An RPG-7 and a crate full of rockets, found at the Sampler Platter's Dessert Table. It's a hard thing to find, too - you have to show up early, or else it'll all be taken by the 12:30 lunch rush.

"Yes, I get that it's not loaded, but that doesn't mean that this isn't the single stupidest thing you have ever done."

Taking a closer look at the RPG-7, with it (thankfully) pointed in a far, far safer direction.

Loading in a PG-7V rocket.

Following this is a step that a great many games tend to forget: cocking the hammer. The RPG-7 uses a revolver-style spur hammer (albeit one that strikes directly upwards) to set off its rockets; since the trigger mechanism is single-action-only, the hammer must be cocked before every shot.

"Aiming" the RPG. Well, at least there was an attempt.

Firing the launcher...

...and watching the rocket hit its mark. While it can't be shown here (for obvious reasons), one thing to note is the inclusion of a sound delay system for distant explosions - even at the back of this relatively small range, there is still a noticeable delay between seeing the round go off and hearing it, meant to simulate the difference between the speeds of light and sound. This feature, along with a great many others (including the Sampler Platter itself), was introduced in Update #52.

Amusingly, due to the way that H3 defines loading (i.e. if a round intersects a certain trigger area, it is automatically loaded), simply slamming a rocket into the side of the RPG-7's main tube...

...produces a loaded rocket launcher, presumably either meaning that the rockets are capable of teleportation, or that osmosis can be performed with far larger particles than scientists previously thought. IMFDB does not encourage the practice of slamming live rockets into things; doing so outside of a video game is highly unlikely to end well.

"Aiming" once again, this time at the cluster of shipping crates and explosive barrels that makes up the bulk of the Dessert Table's target content.

This has predictable results.

Sturmpistole

The final grenade launcher added in the 10th alpha of Update #52 is the Sturmpistole, a WW2-era German experiment in converting the Leuchtpistole flare gun into a grenade launcher.

Sturmpistole - 26.65mm / 23mm

The Sturmpistole in all of its confounding glory.

A closeup of the muzzle, which shows off the rifled bore insert.

Loading a Panzerwurfkörper 42 LP grenade round into the aforementioned muzzle.

Cocking back the hammer, while trying as hard as possible to ignore how utterly ridiculous this device looks.

Leveling the Sturmpistole at the indoor range's back wall...

...and sending the grenade on its (rather leisurely) way.

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