Hot Dogs, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades/Manual-Loading Pistols

Manual-Loading Pistols

This page covers Breech Loading, Lever Action, Bolt Action, Muzzle Loading, and Derringer pistols. For more information on how handguns are categorised in H3, see the previous subpage.

American Derringer Model 6

Update #105 added several derringers to the game, with the American Derringer Model 6 among them. Two variants are available - a standard version in .357 Magnum, and an engraved version in (of all things) .45-70 Government; amusingly enough, both of these are, in fact, factory options for the real pistol.

American Derringer Model 6 - .45 Long Colt/.410 bore

COP 357

The full release of Update #85 added a pair of derringers, the more modern (and useful) of which was a COP 357.

COP 357 - .357 Magnum

Examining the COP in a small, seemingly-endless hallway.

It's a rather small gun, though we haven't actually given you any means of verifying that yet.

Popping the COP's top; note that the locking plate (which also holds the rear sight) has appropriately moved back.

Loading in some .357 Magnum rounds.

Aiming through the surprisingly usable sights...

...and failing a Voight-Kampff test, with some rather spectacular recoil. Rapid fire is all but entirely pointless.

Dumping out a set of spent cases.

Blasting apart a crate with the COP. This isn't meant to imply that it's exceptionally powerful or anything; H3's crates just sorta do that.

Flintlock Pistol

Update #81 brought in the game's first muzzle-loading firearm (barring the GP-25, if you want to get pedantic), a .69-caliber Flintlock Pistol of supposed 18th century origin; it uses a completely proprietary code-base (the most complex of any firearm in the game), with a wide variety of possible interactions and results (whether beneficial or otherwise). It is referred to as the "Heavy Flintlock" due to its large caliber being shared by the Brown Bess musket, as opposed to using a smaller "pistol-caliber" ball.

New Land Pattern flintlock pistol - .65 caliber. Somewhat similar to the pistol in-game

Examining the flintlock pistol; unlike the reference image, this one lacks brass fittings, and has a rounded butt.

A simple weapon in appearance and function alike, but a wonderful one to see here nevertheless.

A close-up of the lockplate, showing off the leather-padded screw-jaw used to hold the flint in the hammer (or the cock, if your dedication to vocabulary outstrips your desire not to hear everyone giggling like a middle school biology class), as well as the simple v-spring used to put tension on the frizzen (a word whose meaning will be elaborated on further down the page).

To load the pistol, one must first half-cock the hammer...

...and then grab this thing. Said thing is a paper cartridge, containing a pre-measured charge of powder, a single lead ball, and a note from Mom telling you to have a good first day at school.

After punching yourself in the face with a VR controller tearing open the cartridge with your teeth, the next step is to drop some powder into the flash-pan, either by tapping the button to drop individual clumps (as attempting to simulate a powdered substance in PhysX would likely cause blackouts across half the county), or by simply upending the cartridge and pouring out powder; the maximum clump count is five. Then, just close up the frizzen with a swipe of the hand (lest the priming powder fall out when the pistol is tipped over), and move to the muzzle.

The rest of the powder can simply be dumped down the barrel.

Along with the rest of the cartridge.

If speed isn't your speed, loose powder is an option, with the source of the Spice being this wooden flask.

The lid's not just for show; this is a mythical Powder Flask of Holding, and as such will continue to produce black powder when tipped over until either the lid is put back into place, or the universe is destroyed by an endless flood of slightly clumpy propellant.

Anyway, this is a lead ball. Keep out of reach of children.

To finish off either reloading method, one must pull the ramrod from the stone...

...and then shove everything into place (to prevent it from falling out, and compress the powder properly for maximum effect). The ramrod makes a tapping noise whenever it bottoms out, with the noise dropping in pitch when the contents can't be pushed any further; interestingly, the maximum depth it can reach depends on the contents of the barrel, with larger amounts of powder/projectiles (both of which can be loaded to whatever degree the user desires, at the risk of jamming in a ball without propellant, getting a squib (a bullet that doesn't have enough energy to leave the barrel), or blowing up the gun).

Finally, just fully cock the hammer, and you're ready to fire.

This image would be captioned "Aiming down the pistol's sights" if it had any.

Upon pulling the trigger, there is first a flash in the flash-pan, caused by the hammer's flint making sparks as it strikes/opens the frizzen, and igniting the powder beneath. The more powder that is placed into the pan, the larger and longer-lasting this flash is, with the only real reason to add more being dramatic effect.

After this second-fractional delay, the main charge goes off, and a .69-inch hole hopefully appears in whatever you were aiming at.

Of course, slamming a small stone into a piece of iron repeatedly isn't going to do wonders for the former, necessitating replacement from time to time (unless you just want to ignore the hammer entirely and set off the priming powder with a strike-anywhere match, which this game also lets you do); to do this, half-cock the hammer, click the hammer's screw to loosen it, remove the old flint, insert a new one, and re-tighten the screw. These steps are all condensed into one screenshot here, because I have a finite amount of patience.

Another flintlock, this time in the Proving Grounds, with its ramrod shoved into the barrel. Why, you ask?

To use as a projectile, of course! (And yes, this Sosig is on fire, as the flintlock is perfectly capable of igniting targets close enough to the muzzle when not loaded with an actual projectile.)

Ouch.

Heizer Defense DoubleTap

The Heizer Defense DoubleTap was the first weapon to be added to the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event, specifically the 9x19mm ported version.

Heizer Defense DoubleTap - 9mm Non ported

The DoubleTap in its crate, with an M1911A1 for scale. It is referred to in-game as the "Doubledown Derringer", or "DDD" for short. Given the weapon's date of introduction (December 1st), and the game's frequent use of crass humor, it wouldn't be surprising if this was a reference to the other DDD.

Taking a look up close, one can see that this version features a ported barrel.

And looking on the other side reveals that the release for the barrels is ambidextrous.

Operating the Doubletap is near identical to the earlier-added Model 95, apart from not needing to cock the hammer.

The scene provides the player with two +P API rounds, which gives the diminutive pistol a boost in viability.

Taking aim at one of the new Junkbot enemies; the small gutter-sight on the derringer makes anything but point-blank shots a challenge, but at least these bots are unarmed.

When the glowing red can on the back of the Junkbot's head is shot, the entire thing immediately falls apart.

Having spent the second shot on another Junkbot, the derringer is now empty.

Heizer Defense PAK1

The Heizer Defense PAK1 made its media debut in Update #102's first experimental build, going by the name "PK1" in-game.

Heizer Defense PAK1 - 7.62x39mm

Nope, that caliber note isn't a typo; this thing really exists, and it's actually chambered in 7.62x39mm. Hence the name - it's short for "Pocket AK".

The other side is much the same, so a pull of the weapon's somewhat long double-action trigger has been added for variety.

Just like its double-barreled cousin above, the PAK1's barrel pops open for loading with a push of the button on either side. A forward push, to be precise.

Loading in a round not at all suitable for this length of barrel; the green tip denotes a tracer. Just 'cause.

Unaware of its own absurdity, the diminutive pistol accepts it without complaint; the automatic extractor sits right in the round's extractor groove, just as it ought to.

Aiming at a large window; aside from the rather tiny sights, the main thing worth noting here is just how impressively thin the PAK1 is. Sure, it's a pocketable derringer, but it's still chambered for an intermediate rifle cartridge.

As one would expect out of a sub-4" barrel slinging a round meant for something at least 4 times that length, there's a considerable amount of muzzle flash...

...and a not-insubstantial amount of recoil. Enough frames passed between these two screenshots for the round in question to hit its mark; a great deal of effort went into making the window respond in kind, freely breaking into a series of shards along cracks that radiate out from a single impact point.

Excitedly cracking the PAK open to reload and continue the demonstration, before remembering that that was the only round provided.

But hey, if it's a shattered window you're after, you can at least take solace in the fact that there's more than one way to break glass with a gun.

High Standard Derringer

Added in Update #105, the High Standard Derringer is the first derringer chambered in .22 Magnum.

High Standard Derringer, white plastic grips - .22 Magnum

"IPSICK 2011"

Added in Update #95, the "IPSICK 2011" is an M1911-pattern racegun, visually reminiscent of the STI's 2011 series; in keeping with the update's theme of "cursed guns", it is a rather exaggerated-looking example of such a pistol, with purple wrap-around grips, a bright red C-More-style "YOLOgraphic" sight, a titanium nitride-coated barrel, and a multi-colored stack of daisy-chained compensators about as long as the entire slide. Furthermore, instead of being a mag-fed semi-auto as one would expect, it is a single-shot break-action pistol. Chambered in .50 BMG.

STI Grand Master 2011 with C-More red-dot sight - .38 Super. Visually similar to the in-game pistol.

Heading out to the range for some IPSC practice, and taking a look at the fancy new racegun.

A closer view of the markings; note the Bohr-style atom model in place of the STI logo on the grips, the "Z-BORE" marking on the sight mount (an obvious spoof of "C-More"), and the rather interesting model designation of "2112".

Attempting to shove a magazine into the pistol's flared magwell is met with rather limited success, since said magwell isn't actually open...

...not to mention the fact that that isn't how any of this works at all.

Taking a closer look at all this nonsense only reveals more; aside from the fact that the serrated magazine release, extended beavertail, and slide racking handles are all now pointless (given its position, the slide stop lever is presumably used to break the pistol open), there's also the fact that the weapon's fancy flat-faced match trigger (which has the silhouette of a normal 1911 cut into it) pivots instead of sliding linearly.

Apprehensively holding up a .50 BMG tracer round, as if afraid that this will actually work.

The pistol accepts it without complaint.

Cocking the hammer; this has to be done manually with each shot; the IPSICK's manual of arms is much like the earlier-added Thompson Center Arms Contender.

Aiming through the permanently-affixed "YOLOgraphic" sight very quickly shows the user where it gets its name. For reference, the dot in the center of the second "O" is the actual aiming point.

Firing the pistol produces less recoil than one might expect, thanks in part to the massive dry-erase-marker-sword of compensators on the end; a side effect of this is that the muzzle flash completely obscures the user's view of more or less everything.

Dumping out a spent case. Was this shot taken on a whim? Or was it meticulously tried and retried, time and time again, until a perfect frame was captured? You'll never know. Unless you check the page's edit summary, that is.

Remington 1866 Derringer

The second derringer added with the release of Update #85 was an ornately-decorated Remington 1866 Derringer, going by its alternate name of "Model 95" in-game. Holding just two manually-indexed rounds of the rather anemic .41 Short cartridge (with poor accuracy to boot), the Remington holds the somewhat dubious honor of being quite possibly the least useful firearm in the game - while the the earlier-added Volcanic Repeater does slightly less damage per shot, it has fourfold the capacity and enough accuracy to put all eight of those rounds into one side of a barn, a claim the Model 95 can't make in complete honesty.

Remington 1866 Derringer with engravings and pearl grips - .41 RF

We weren't kidding when we said "ornately decorated" - the gold-inlaid engravings are intricate, detailed, and overall quite nice-looking.

Even if you have to hold the gun pretty close to your face to really see them.

Opening up the derringer; holding it like this is generally recommended, unless you enjoy loading rounds in blindly and pointing both muzzles at your own face.

Loading in a couple of .41 Shorts.

Cocking the hammer, an easy step to forget when you're busy swearing about how bad your luck with the Take & Hold weapon pool is.

Aiming the pistol at a watermelon, and...

...yeah, we weren't kidding about the whole "poor accuracy" bit either.

Engaging the target from a derringer-suitable range (read: within loogie-hocking distance) produces more satisfactory results.

Dumping out the two spent cases; with the round fired only being a .41 Short, the watermelon made a full recovery in record time.

Remington Rolling Block Model 1871 Navy

The Remington Rolling Block pistol is one of the available firearms in-game, added through Update #32; with the release of two additional Rolling Blocks (both rifles) in Update #91, the pistol got a slight rework in the form of a slight change to its controls (going from swipes to clicks on the user's touchpad/joystick to cock the hammer and open/close the action) and a rescaling of its model.

Remington Rolling Block Cavalry - .50

A pair of Rolling Block pistols on a table.

Taking a good look at the pistol.

The other side. The lighting at this angle gives a good view of the somewhat worn appearance, which is to be expected of a >150-year-old handgun.

Loading the Rolling Block is a rather involved process; it starts with cocking the hammer...

...opening the breech...

...loading in a (proprietary) .50 caliber black-powder cartridge...

...and finally closing the breech.

Aiming the Rolling Block...

...and firing it, producing an impressive cloud of smoke in the process. Such is expected of black-powder firearms.

Ejecting a spent case from the pistol.

The newly-rescaled Rolling Block, in a distinctly less serious-looking setting.

Loading a round into the pistol, which should hopefully give you some idea of how its size has changed. Or maybe it doesn't, in which case you'll just have to take our word for it.

Sharps Model 1C

The Sharps Pepperbox, more specifically the Model 1C variant, was one of the derringers added in Update #105; it is the first firearm in the game chambered for the concurrently-added .22 Short cartridge.

Sharps Model 1C - .22 Short

Signal 9 Defense Reliant

Known simply as the "S9R", the Signal 9 Defense Reliant derringer makes its media debut in H3, courtesy of Update #105. The in-game weapon is chambered in .32 ACP, and uniquely includes the real weapon's unusual feature of a spare speedloader in the bottom of the grip, along with its integrated underbarrel (or rather, under-barrels) laser sight.

Signal 9 Defense Reliant - .32 ACP

Thompson Center Arms Contender

The 12th alpha build of Update #52 added a Thompson Center Arms Contender pistol chambered in .45-70 Government, with a curious combination of a wooden forearm and a synthetic grip. Interestingly, it uses the same code-base as the earlier-added Orion Flare Gun, due to the near-identical manual of arms.

Thompson Center Arms Contender - .45-70 Government

When faced with the threat of a giant evil hotdog trying to monetize Christmas, always keep your handcannon handy.

Opening up the breech.

Loading in a jacketed hollow-point .45-70 round. Several other types were added as well, including soft-points, wadcutters, and solid-brass Lehigh Defense Xtreme Penetrator rounds.

Cocking the hammer.

Aiming; the Contender in-game is meant to be used with optics, and as such doesn't actually have any iron sights.

This doesn't actually prevent you from hitting your target, however, as the headless fellow in the bottom-left of the shot can attest to.

Triple Action Thunder

The Triple Action Thunder was added on Day 4 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event. It is the fourth pistol chambered in .50 BMG added to the game, and the first with a real-world counterpart.

Triple Action Thunder - .50 BMG

For copyright reasons, the gun's name is abbreviated to "TA Thunderer", despite the Thunder existing only as a prototype that failed to find a manufacturer.

It really is an achievement when the Thunder isn't the most unorthodox pistol to be added to your game.

In case it wasn't driven home how ridiculous this thing is, see how it compares in size to a 1911 pistol.

Loading the Thunder requires opening up the unique "scissor breech" in the rear.

This should also drive home how improbable the game's other .50 BMG pistols really are; the enormous bulk towards the rear of the pistol is taken up by the Thunder's massive nitrogen recoil dampener, which renders the recoil somewhat manageable.

Taking aim with the Thunder's built in notch sights against the Static Drone enemies in the new Meatmas scene.

Firing the Thunder predictably yields a lot of recoil. Yet despite the powerful round, the drone's armor is too strong.

Emptying the spent casing requires opening the breech block and dropping the casing out.

To meet this challenge, we're going to need some... assistance.

The drone's weak spot, these small red triangles, are tough to hit from a distance. But you'll want to be shooting from a distance...

...as the drones explode on death. Or if you get too close. Either way, the Thunder is not to be underestimated.

Volcanic Repeater

The Volcanic Repeater is one of the firearms added in the Wurstworld update. It's based on an early Smith and Wesson produced Navy model, with iron frame over the later brass frame, and is chambered for .41 caliber "Rocket Ball" rounds, which are (correctly) rather anemic.

Volcanic Repeating Arms "Navy" Pistol - .41 Rocket Ball

While out in Wurstworld, you have to admire the detail in the Volcanic.

Opening the Volcanic's magazine tube. A notable error is that the follower tab (the small projection sticking off of the end of the tube) is always in the pushed-forward position, meaning that there is nothing actually pushing the rounds in the magazine towards the action.

Loading in some .41 caliber rounds...

...which, fortunately enough, do show up in the tube.

Chambering a round in the Volcanic.

Taking aim with the Volcanic's rather small sights.

Flip-cocking the Volcanic. This is one of two ways that the weapon can be used in-game; the other is holding it with two hands and working the action normally, which is much more practical, but much less cool-looking.

Welrod Mk IIA

The long-requested Welrod was added on day 13 of the Meatmas 2020 Advent Calendar event. It is the game's first bolt-action pistol that isn't a chopped down rifle, and one of the only known media depictions of the Welrod that accurately depicts its use of replaceable wipes that degrade with use; this is reflected in both the firing sound (with the first shot on a fresh set of wipes being near-totally silent apart from the firing pin, and the tenth being roughly as loud as an ordinary suppressed pistol) and the model of the baffles (which visibly wear out over time).

Welrod Mark IIA - .32 ACP

Opening Bunker A-13's weapon case reveals a seemingly-random assortment of items, none of which look particularly weapon-like.

Examining the rather unassuming pistol; its not-very-gun-like appearance is deliberate, as the Welrod was meant to be an inconspicuous weapon for resistance fighters and covert operatives in occupied Europe.

Purportedly, it could either be hidden in a bag of various tools without catching anyone's eye as an obvious gun; if asked about specifically, it could be handwaved as a bike pump, or something of the sort.

Opening up the Welrod's bolt; lacking an obvious bolt handle, the bolt's knurled rear surface has a notch that lines up with a marking on the receiver tube, to let the user know when the bolt is (or, in this case, isn't) properly locked.

Loading in one of the distinctive rubber-covered magazines; these are proprietary, but appear to have been based around Colt Model 1903 Pocket Hammerless mags. They also form the Welrod's grip, and in doing so make it look far more like an actual gun. Or, at least, a small child's drawing of an actual gun.

Chambering a .32 ACP round.

Aiming at a Static drone just outside the bunker; the Welrod's sights are rudimentary, but usable within the ranges that it's supposed to be used in. The real weapon's irons featured tritium inserts, though these are missing from most currently-documented examples, and may have simply lost their radioactivity anyways.

Firing; this produces very little recoil and almost no sound, so the only real indication that anything has happened is the bright light emanating from the drone. Which, incidentally, means that it's about to explode.

Working the bolt to eject a spent casing, as a Hardened drone comes to investigate; being sound-sensitive, it looks in completely the wrong direction.

Using the Welrod for its intended purpose (i.e. silent, near-point-blank elimination of sentries - it even had a recessed muzzle for the express purpose of firing the gun while pressing it into a target); even if they can't recognize the sound of one of their compatriots' heads coming apart as a cause for alarm, doing this to groups is still not a great idea.

Checking on the condition of the suppressor in about the most ill-advised manner possible; a mag or two will leave the orange rubber wipes torn to the point of near-uselessness. As mentioned, this makes the gun louder, though not by any means loud (since the suppressor also contains conventional metal baffles, and it is still a manually-operated gun firing a small, subsonic cartridge).

To replace these wipes, one must first remove the end of the suppressor...

...and then pull out the baffle/wipe stack. One can also simply fire the gun with the endcap removed, causing the stack to come out on its own (as shown here); given that this wastes a round, throws the stack onto the floor, and makes a rather loud noise, doing so isn't recommended. Especially not in the presence of the aforementioned sound-sensitive Hardened drone.

Incidentally, the weapon can still be fired in this state (i.e. with the suppressor's innards removed); doing so gives the weapon its only real opportunity to produce a relatively normal-sounding gunshot, and about the closest thing it can manage to a normal muzzle flash.

Preparing to insert a fresh stack. Note that the wipes (the orange rubber disks) are completely solid; this is correct, as part of the Welrod's famous quietness comes from the fact that it fires straight through these wipes, causing them to partially self-seal for the first few shots (and thus allowing less propellant gas to escape).

"Whizzbanger"

A weapon that vehemently resists all attempts at conventional classification, the "Whizzbanger" is arguably the strangest addition brought along by the 2019 April Fools' Day update - and that's saying something for an update that also added Sosigs with glowing red clown noses that bleed confetti. Based on a Pimp My Gun photo believed to have originated from 4chan, the Whizzbanger consists of an RIS foregrip, attached to which are a pair of scope mount-esque rings in front of a spring-loaded firing pin, meant to be struck with a provided mallet (though just about anything - other objects, walls, enemies, etc. - will also do the job). To top it all of, the cartridge of choice for this monstrosity is, of all things, .50 BMG (which is presumably why it sits with the anti-materiel rifles in the item spawner). Update #71 furthered this insanity by adding a 3rd, smaller ring to the front of the device, and allowing it to take attachments. Including suppressors.

The Pimp My Gun image that the Whizzbanger was based on.

See, 4chan, this is why we can't have nice things.

The other side of the Whizzbanger. Honestly, it's just in the pistol section because we can't think of a better place to put it. Maybe it should just get its own category.

Contemplating how on Earth to shove a .50-caliber tracer round into the ring mounts.

With that issue solved, the next thing to contemplate is why. Unfortunately, Jeff Goldblum's Jurassic Park quote has already been used on this page, as it would have summed this device up perfectly...

Never before has a firearm's hammer been so aptly named. Or a poor Sosig so completely oblivious of what's about to happen to it.

Though, granted, one has to feel just as bad for the person holding the damned thing. And no, this isn't a muzzle flash, because the term "muzzle flash" implies the existence of a muzzle, which implies the existence of a barrel.

A couple frames later, and the kick of an unsupported .50 BMG going off attached to little more than a lightweight handle kicks in. Not every day that somebody's cause of death is "decapitation by torso disintegration".

Popping the somehow-not-blown-apart spent case out of the Whizzbanger, and taking a moment to seriously think about the decisions that have led us all to this moment. So many mistakes...

...so what's another on the pile?

Pointing a Gepard PDW at the monstrosity; not to rid the world of it, mind you, but to use it: another feature added to the Whizzbanger in Update #71 was the ability to hit the firing pin with bullets fired from other weapons. Rube Goldberg machines, anyone?

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